Scene from Arsonist’s Mother

(ARSONIST walks to a table and sits. Two women, roughly in their 20s, enter and sit one on each side of ARSONIST. As the scene progresses they get closer and closer to her almost squeezing her in by the end of the scene.)

        Water? Waiter. Water!

                GIRL 2

            (echoing her)

        Water. Waiter?

            (to ARSONIST)

        Water?

                ARSONIST

        I have my-

            (she raises her glass of water)

                GIRL 1

            (to ARSONIST)

        Menu?

            (to invisible waiter)

        Menus!

                GIRL 2

            (to invisible waiter)

                GIRL 1

        I’m drying out. Water?

                GIRL 2

        (moving close to GIRL 1 to pat her lips squeezing ARSONIST between them)

        You’re parched. Water! 

            (GIRL 1 raises ARSONISTs water glass and throws water in GIRL 2s face)

                        GIRL 2

        Better.

                ARSONIST

        I’m breaking it off and moving out.

                GIRL 1

        Dehydrating even. What’s that you say dear you’re dehydrating?

                GIRL 2

        Leaving him? She’s leaving him. Sweetie- do you need water? Let me get you a glass of water.

                ARSONIST

        Thanks I have my wa-I had my water. Where’d my water go-

                GIRL 2

        We need a glass of water here.

                ARSONIST

        What choice do I have?

                GIRL 1

        You don’t have a choice.

                GIRL 2

        No choice whatsoever.

                GIRL 1

        There’s always a choice.

                ARSONIST

        But you said that I didn’t have-

                GIRL 1

        You don’t have one-

                GIRL 2

        One or the other-

            (to GIRL 1)

                ARSONIST

        Leaving seems so-

                GIRL 1

        -necessary sometimes.

                GIRL 2

        We run away for what we fear might happen, not because of what we know won’t. (Pause) You need to eat something dear.

            (to GIRL 1)

        Hamburger?

            (GIRL 1 nods her head)

                  GIRL 2

            (yelling)

        Two hamburgers!

                ARSONIST

        Do you want to know why I’m leaving him?

                GIRL 1

        Oh no. No no no no.

                GIRL 2

        When you decide to leave someone its always very personal.

                GIRL 1

        She’s right. Very personal.

                ARSONIST

        I haven’t completely decided to leave.

                GIRL 2

            (moving closer to ARSONIST)

            (to GIRL 2)

        Did you order fries?

                ARSONIST

        What’s that?

                GIRL 1

        Fries. I don’t want a burger, but fries sound good.

                ARSONIST

        He might leave me?

                GIRL 2

        I haven’t ordered at all.

                        ARSONIST

        But you did.

                        GIRL 2

        Did what?

                        ARSONIST

        Order.

                        GIRL 2

        We probably should.

                GIRL 1

        The service here is outrageous.

                GIRL 2

            (to ARSONSIT)

        Why did you pick this place?

                ARSONIST

        It was central.

                GIRL 1

        It’s the out of the way places that you find the best.

                GIRL 2

        The best what?

                GIRL 1

        Of everything.

                GIRL 2

        The hard to find places.

                GIRL 1

        Did you get your water yet?

                GIRL 2

        I’m parched.

            (to waiter)

        WATER! PLEASE!

                GIRL 1

        Water!

            (to ARSONIST)

        Did you get your water?

            (GIRL 2 shakes her head)

                        GIRL 1

        Lets go.

                        GIRL 2

        I need a hamburger.

                ARSONIST

        If he did want to leave me, wouldn’t he have already?

                GIRL 1

        If you wanted to leave him wouldn’t you have done already?

                GIRL 2

        Does anyone do things when they want?

                GIRL 1

        Most people wait til they run out of space.

                GIRL 2

        Or they’re stuck.

                ARONIST

        Stuck?

                GIRL 2

        Its very difficult to be in a comfortable situation.

                GIRL 1

        Very difficult.

                GIRL 2

        I don’t think I’ll have the hamburger. A Caesar maybe. Yes a crisp Caesar salad.

                GIRL 1

        No!

                ARSONIST

        No?

                GIRL 1

        The anchovies.

            (GIRL 2 hugs GIRL 1 squeezing ARSONIST between them)

                GIRL 2

                GIRL 1

        Its all very personal.

            (Pause)

        Do we have catsup?

                GIRL 2

        And different for everyone. No catsup, but mayo.

                ARSONIST

        Catsup?

                GIRL 2

        Leaving. I’ve decided. I’ll have the burger.

                GIRL 1

        No onion.

                GIRL 2

        No onion.

                GIRL 1

        The circumstances.

                ARSONIST

        Of onion.

                GIRL 2

        No. Leaving.

                GIRL 1

        Circumstances.

                GIRL 2

        Mustard?

                GIRL 1

        On a burger?

                GIRL 2

        With catsup.

                GIRL 1

        Think of the salt.

                GIRL 2

        Too much.

                GIRL 1

        We’ll need water. Something to quell the thirst.

            (to waiter)

        Water. Waiter?? 

                ARSONIST

        He won’t leave me first.

            (she stands to leave)

                GIRL 2

        Water!

                GIRL 1 & GIRL 2 (simultaneously)

        WAITER!!

(ARSONIST sits limply between the two GIRLS. Lights fade.)

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Tara Broeckel Ooten is an MFA Playwright in the Northeast Ohio Master of Fine Arts Program (NEOMFA) through Cleveland State University where her most recent work Ain’t No Gospel appeared as the culminating project for her MFA degree. Other works to appear at CSU’s Factory Theatre have included A Clean Well-Lighted Place and Bedknobs and Handcuffs, which was acknowledged as a finalist for the 2002 Kennedy Center Region III Ten-Minute Playwriting Competition. Tara holds a BA in Theatre and English from Adrian College (Adrian, MI), where her works A Not-So-Common Fear, Like Bread from Heaven, and A Child’s Story have been performed. Her poetry has previously been published online in YACK and the Northcoast Review.  

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